which adventure do I choose?

When you don't check your email for a week, it really piles up on you. And all at the same time. And when the rest of your life is just as hectic, it can become a bit overwhelming.

At the clinic, I am packing up my things, cooking Thanksgiving/birthday feast on Friday, getting ready to say goodbye to Carlos on Saturday, another goodbye party Sunday, leaving early Monday morning to head back to Memphis for a week. There is a possibility that I could come back here to the clinic as a head nurse, help to organize the clinic so there is not the threat of the doctors leaving, donations could be used better, personnel need to be managed, etc. Lots to do, I feel like I could do this with a bit of guidance and preparation. And I love the doctors who I have been working with for the past three months and I would love to come back and see them and work with them and help them and the clinic.

Then I learn that a house owned by a neighbor is up for sale, in Portland, and I could move back to Portland and find a great job and get a dog and start living a normal life. It is exactly what I wanted before I came to Haiti. Now, everything has changed and I just don't know what exactly I want anymore.

I'm trying to find a way to have both, the house in Portland and somehow help the clinic here in Haiti, but I think that is not possible. Next week, I will be talking with the director of the clinic, he lives in Memphis, and we will figure out exactly what ought to be done. Do I want to come back to Haiti, live here for probably another year, fix some of the problems in the clinic, work with the doctors and try to get a permanent nursing position here and get the clinic running optimally? Or do I want to return to my home, buy a wonderful house near wonderful people, get a job, and start living a normal life? One adventure or another?

p.s.: For those of you waiting for a really long post, I apologize. For those of you who want words of wisdom, here they are: read Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen.

p.s.s.: I will be coming back! Hooray! December 15th, my plane is coming in from Memphis to Chicago to Portland at 6:45pm! I cannot wait to see everyone! Just 13 days until I see your smiling faces!